That's me in the corner.

I've been very fascinated by the response to this column. Most of it has been positive. Most people see it for what it is, entertainment. Sure, there's some insights here about men, and hopefully it's informative. Hopefully, it's seen helpful and you, the reader have enjoyed a few chuckles reading it. I had hoped that this blog would be a positive thing, a way to bridge the gap in understanding between the sexes in a fun way, without all that "Mars and Venus crap.

But not everyone is a fan. Today, I got an email in response to the "rack mounted" post of yesterday.

He said:

"Wow, you really hate women, don't you? This guy is an even bigger jerk than you are!
And I Say That Affectionately."

Now, I don't know how anyone can "affectionately" call you a sexist jerk, but that's a separate issue entirely.

First off, let me address the obvious: I do not hate women. I have had my issues with specific women, as have many men, but that does not mean I have issues with women in general. Are all women bad? Hardly. Meditation teaches us that no one is bad, just the condition that they are afflicted with(anger, attachment, etc). I agree with this. I approach all people with compassion, especially women. Take any woman on the street. She is someone's daughter. She is someone's friend, lover and confidant. She might also be someone's wife and mother. Those are all amazingly wonderful things. When you take that in to account, how could you hate anyone? I can't. I didn't always think this, mind you, but I have a much healthier outlook now, that I did previously.

I think women are amazing creatures. They smell good, and they giggle and they are mysteries that we as men will never fully unravel. That's okay. That's the beauty of it. They have different skills, thoughts, attitudes and outlooks. They fill in our gaps and vice versa. Men are not better than women, they are just different. We are raised and conditioned differently.

What I do hate, though, is Dr. Phil and most of those so called "relationship" experts. Why? Because I feel that their work is incredibly biased. Dr. Phil literally says(In his book "relationship rescue") Men are dumb. We don't get it." That may be true, but it seems incredibly biased to me, to say the very least. Just the thought of it makes my blood pressure rise.

I know I am on to something with this blog. I will not apologize for it, or what I have said. I do not think I should be condemned for it. I said it like it is, and that's brave. There is no fault in that. It isn't intended to win or lose friends, rather, just to be honest about the way guys can feel about things and maybe, just maybe people laugh along the way. That was the mandate with which I created this.

If I have veered from that mandate, then that is a problem. This blog is not intended to be my personal opinion as stated before, and it is intended to have a fun and sarcastic, not hostile tone. If it is coming off like I am stating personal opinions and those opinions are sexist, then I need to make some adjustments. No harm in doing that.

So, let me have it readers! Post a comment, tell me what you think. I'd really like to hear it.

Rack Mounted...

Dear Tazz13_632,


Why are guys always staring at my boobs? I’m dating this guy who I really like, but I keep catching him staring at my chest and it pisses me off. What can I do to get him to look me in the eyes and not the chest?

Signed,

The Guys Have Eyes,

Dear GHE,

First, let me clear up the obvious. Guys don’t stare at boobs. We stare at tits. What’s the difference? Boobs are what you feed the baby with. Tits are what got you knocked up in the first place.

Now that we’ve settled the matter of semantics, let’s get down to brass tacks. How can you get guys to stop staring at your boobs? Stop showing them off! I know, you like to dress sexy, you want to dress to impress, and what’s the harm in a little cleavage? None you say?

Hardly. See, there are consequences to every action. Some intended, some not. If you put the twins on display, we’re going to look. Period. Boobs have a hypnotical appeal to us. It’s not all our fault. They are a circle in a circle and that is a sacred thing in many cultures and religions. They really do have a hypnotic effect on men. Often without us even knowing.

Guys have a sixth sense about this kind of thing. Every guy on earth has been out somewhere, minding his own business, when his head starts turning and he doesn’t even know why! Next thing he knows he’s got an eye full of a woman’s melon patch. It’s not his fault. He didn’t even know she was in the produce section. All he wanted was a bag of salad, and now he’s getting dirty looks from a woman, and rightly so.

Some would say that’s just how men are, and you should either deal with it or put the girls to bed, for good. I disagree. I think men can work on that, if they are both aware that they are doing it, and of the conquences of it. Men are visual yes, and pretty women are everywhere, but if a guy is constantly checking out other women, and he’s in a relationship of any kind, it’s going to cause problems, no matter what. He may love his woman more than anything on Earth. He may and probably is 100% faithful, but where there’s smoke there’s fire, and in this case the smoke may becoming out of your ears when you see your man doing this. And that’s bad. It needs to stop.

How can you get him to stop staring at your rack? Two words: Breast Reduction. Either that or consider dating a leg or ass man. Kidding. Here’s a news flash: TALK TO HIM. Yes, I said it. Sit him down and tell him how you’re feeling. But as I’ve said before, just telling him something is wrong isn’t going to cut it. Men are problem solvers and if you present a man with a problem and not the solution, you’re half assing it and he’s going to get mad at you or frustrated because he won’t know what you want. Men hate it when you assume they know something. So if you want to deal with this constructively, you need to take a three step approach to the issue. The steps, once again are:

1. Tell him what’s wrong
2. Tell him how it makes you feel
3. Tell him what you’d like him to do instead.

An example would be: Honey, I’ve noticed you staring a lot at my chest, while I’m flattered by the attention, it makes me think that you just view me as some inflatable doll or fuck buddy instead of a wife/girlfriend/whatever and I don’t want to be with someone who views/treats/disrespects me that way. I’d like it if you could look me in the eye when we talk/cuddle/screw/whatever.

Think you’re wasting your time? Your man is clueless, you say? Well, maybe, but if so, why are you with him? There are plenty of guys out there who do get it, if this schmuck doesn’t. But you owe it to the both of you to at least try and talk some sense into him.

Don’t just do it for yourself though, do it for his sake, too. Because it may be the wake up call he’s been waiting for. Too many men don’t learn this lesson and wonder why their still single or why their relationships don’t last. Please, take the time. Talk to him. If you don’t, the cycle will just continue, and you owe it to women everywhere to at least try talking to him, don’t you think?

Putting the "Man" in "Manifesto...

I recently mentioned this blog to a girl I've been seeing, and after reading it, she said "Now I know your thoughts on relationships."

Not true.

This blog is not intended to be a personal manifesto. It does not represent my personal feelings on any of the issues I have discussed. I have taken great pains to try and remove any personal bias towards the topic of a given blog. This blog isn't meant to explain why I how I feel. It's meant to explain how men feel, in general, about a given issue. That's it.

I'm just reporting the news. Not creating it.