Friday, May 28, 2010
Another he said/she said blog! "Forced" into swigning?????
This blog can now be seen here: http://www.dicksinthecity.com/?p=11
Saturday, May 22, 2010
New format! He said/She said.
This is now located here: http://www.dicksinthecity.com/2010/05/22/new-format-he-saidshe-said/
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Honesty? Really?
Be Honest.
Tiger Woods is not a monster. Jesse James is not a monster.
Hitler was a monster. These guys are just shitty husbands.
Both men like a little kink in their coffee, so to speak. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, if you’re into that sort of thing. Provided, of course, that your partner is too.
Jesse James is a big bad biker’s dude. Sandy Bullock is America’s sweetheart. She’s not the kind of freak he needs. He’s not the traditional husband type she needs. He needs a nasty girl who’s into anal, and everything else. Not gonna happen with her. Period.
Likewise with Tiger. He likes his kink, and he damn sure likes his variety. Not husband material, at least not apparently according to his wife’s standards. That’s a big, big problem. I don’t for a second believe that she didn’t know about the infidelity, as in Sandra’s case, but that’s a separate issue.
The issue here is honesty. I am willing to give both men the benefit of the doubt. I think they both went into their respective marriages with the best intentions. The problem is the road to hell is paved with them.
You need to be honest with any perspective partner. If you know you’re not the monogamous type, say it. Be open, let the other party make an informed decision. If they decide to be with you, then they made that choice with open eyes. If you don’t do that, then it’s all on you.
But how can you be honest with a partner, if you’re not honest with yourself? This is the hard part. A person may not be willing to do this, either out of fear or social programming. Marriage and the notion of monogamy are ingrained in our heads from the beginning, for a very simple reason. It fuels the economy.
Make no mistake, there is a big brother, and he wants you to get married and have 2.3 kids. Why? Because it means you’re tied down, easily controlled(especially at the office), and more importantly, you are forced to spend like drunken sailors on everything from homes to cars to baby cribs. Never forget that the American economy is entirely based on mindless consumerism.
Am I saying it’s wrong to get married, have kids, and “settle down?” No. Absolutely not. I think I can be the most amazing thing ever, if it’s really right for you, as long as it’s an informed decision. If you are aware of the options, you’ve experimented and you chose that because it’s right for you, then I wholeheartedly support it. I’m not pro marriage or anti polyamory, or vice versa. I’m in favor of whatever works for you. I’m just saying it’s up to you to decide what that is, and be real about it. This may mean you need to experiment a bit with the options to figure out what works for you. There’s no wrong answer. Just make sure it’s you who decides what’s right for you and not society.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Friday, August 22, 2008
No, really, I am his baby's momma!
Dear DITC:
I've been dating my boyfriend for a couple years, we had a spat, broke up for a while and got back together. Shortly thereafter, I got pregnant. I know it's his, and I want him to be a stand up man and support me through the whole process(birthing classes, baby expenses, etc). He says he wants a paternity test. Who does he think he is? I mean, I know it's his, why is he doing this?
Signed, WTF?
Dear WTF?
You "know" it's his, really? How exactly is that? Do you have access to some sort of pre-natal DNA testing device? Do you have ESP? Did you borrow the delorian and go into the future to find out the results of the test?
No, of course you didn't.
What does that mean? It means you don't know who the father is, and niether does he.
Think he's a dick? No, he's not. He's just being smart.
Take a minute to digest this undeniable truth:
A woman needs a man to impregnate her, and a woman needs a man to help her raise/provide for the baby.
THOSE MEN DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE SAME PERSON.
Quite often, they aren't. This doesn't mean women are sluts or or whores or evil. It's just a basic truth of evolution. Women are programmed to find the strongest seed they can during ovulation, and often that will lead her to the "alpha" or "player" type. She'll find herself dressing hotter than usual, being more flirtatious, and having sex with people she wouldn't normally, and often engaging in unprotected intercourse when she wouldn't otherwise.
This goes for women who are married, in committed relationships, etc. They will seek out the strongest seed, no matter where it may lie, because that's what they are designed to do.
Just as they are designed to do that, they are also designed to find the strongest male role model type to help her raise said child. Often they will seek him out and conveniently "get pregnant" shortly after they start getting physically intimate. They never tell the "provider type" about the other guys, because "they don't count." And frankly, she'd be stupid to tell him, because:
MEN REALLY LIKE/DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW THAT THE KID(S) THEY ARE RAISING ARE THERE OWN.
Some men would gladly raise the child anyway, figuring that if they met the girl, and she had a kid, he'd love and raise anyway.
But for most men, myself included, we need to spread the seed. We need to know that kid we're paying for for the REST OF OUR LIVES is 100% the fruit of my loins.
That's not often the case. At least 11% of men in N. America are unknowingly raising children that are not theirs. That's the stat. I think it's MUCH MUCH HIGHER.
So what does that mean?
Look at it this way. You were broken up. You probably had sexual partners during that time. Anyone one of which could of potentially be the father of your child. Your man knows this. The timing of your pregnancy is fishy at best to him, and is bound to arise suspicion. He has every right to be on guard.
So before you and your girlfriends call him a shithead and go Lorena Bobbitt on him, try looking at his side of things. Then decide.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a couple years, we had a spat, broke up for a while and got back together. Shortly thereafter, I got pregnant. I know it's his, and I want him to be a stand up man and support me through the whole process(birthing classes, baby expenses, etc). He says he wants a paternity test. Who does he think he is? I mean, I know it's his, why is he doing this?
Signed, WTF?
Dear WTF?
You "know" it's his, really? How exactly is that? Do you have access to some sort of pre-natal DNA testing device? Do you have ESP? Did you borrow the delorian and go into the future to find out the results of the test?
No, of course you didn't.
What does that mean? It means you don't know who the father is, and niether does he.
Think he's a dick? No, he's not. He's just being smart.
Take a minute to digest this undeniable truth:
A woman needs a man to impregnate her, and a woman needs a man to help her raise/provide for the baby.
THOSE MEN DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE SAME PERSON.
Quite often, they aren't. This doesn't mean women are sluts or or whores or evil. It's just a basic truth of evolution. Women are programmed to find the strongest seed they can during ovulation, and often that will lead her to the "alpha" or "player" type. She'll find herself dressing hotter than usual, being more flirtatious, and having sex with people she wouldn't normally, and often engaging in unprotected intercourse when she wouldn't otherwise.
This goes for women who are married, in committed relationships, etc. They will seek out the strongest seed, no matter where it may lie, because that's what they are designed to do.
Just as they are designed to do that, they are also designed to find the strongest male role model type to help her raise said child. Often they will seek him out and conveniently "get pregnant" shortly after they start getting physically intimate. They never tell the "provider type" about the other guys, because "they don't count." And frankly, she'd be stupid to tell him, because:
MEN REALLY LIKE/DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW THAT THE KID(S) THEY ARE RAISING ARE THERE OWN.
Some men would gladly raise the child anyway, figuring that if they met the girl, and she had a kid, he'd love and raise anyway.
But for most men, myself included, we need to spread the seed. We need to know that kid we're paying for for the REST OF OUR LIVES is 100% the fruit of my loins.
That's not often the case. At least 11% of men in N. America are unknowingly raising children that are not theirs. That's the stat. I think it's MUCH MUCH HIGHER.
So what does that mean?
Look at it this way. You were broken up. You probably had sexual partners during that time. Anyone one of which could of potentially be the father of your child. Your man knows this. The timing of your pregnancy is fishy at best to him, and is bound to arise suspicion. He has every right to be on guard.
So before you and your girlfriends call him a shithead and go Lorena Bobbitt on him, try looking at his side of things. Then decide.
Monday, July 28, 2008
I need space....
This blog is now available here: http://www.dicksinthecity.com/2008/07/28/i-need-space/
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