Q. My guy friend is having trouble with finding the kind of women he wants to meet, and to cheer up him I told him that he was a great guy and he would find the right girl someday. I thought he’d take it as a compliment, instead he got mad and stormed off. Why is that?
A. There are two things you should NEVER, EVER say to a guy.
1. Let’s just be friends(I’ve already covered this one)
2. You’re a great guy, you’ll find the right girl some day
The next time you think about saying that to a guy, do him a favor. Cut off his dick and then puree it in a food processor for sixty seconds. It’s way less painful, and nowhere near as emasculating.
Why do we feel that way? Well imagine your best girlfriend was trying to hook you up with this hot guy you like. In describing you to the guy, she says “she’s got a really great personality.” Which basically means you’re a fat cow, who only a blind man could love otherwise she’d be telling him how fucking hot and doable you are.
And when you found out about all this, you’d be pissed at her. You’d be like “why didn’t you tell him about my great rack! Or my nymphomania. Or the fact that I’ll have his babies(don’t tell us this one. Seriously. That’s dumb).” You’d go off on her for not selling your strong points, because a girl with “a good personality” is got about as much chance of getting laid as Jesse Jackson does being honored by the KKK.
Never, ever, ever say that to a man. Ever. Cut out your tongue if you have to. Kill yourself if it’s the only way to suppress the urge. It’s for the best, really.
Why do we feel this strongly? Because saying that to us, makes us feel like that guy from the PG 13 movie, the one that everyone is really pulling for, because they totally wanna see him get the girl. But does he? No? You know who does? The asshole fratboy/jock who treats her like shit, but she totally falls all over because she has daddy issue(maybe not, but you get the point).
We’d rather be dead than that guy, and our continued existence and thus society in general is predicated on us convincing ourselves that we are NOT that guy, even if we are. And you saying “you’re a really great guy…” tells a guy that he is the guy he fears becoming. And really, how productive or helpful is that?
You wanna make your friend feel better? Say “fuck that bitch. Any woman who doesn’t want to be with you is a stupid cunt and should burn in hell” It should take about three seconds to see the tears of joy well up in his eyes. He totally isn’t crying by the way. His contact is fucking with him. Both of them.
If that doesn’t work, get him laid. By you or someone else. Because the best way to get over someone, is by getting under someone else. At least in our world.
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