Q. My guy friend(not in that way), is frustrated about his lack of dating prospects. I’ve tried introducing him to the “law of attraction.” I told him if he just asks the universe for it, the right girl will come to him, without any chasing on his part. He thinks it’s bull shit. Why is that?
A. Cause it is. Kidding. It’s not for me to tell you how to think and feel about things(that’s what government and religion are for), but what I can do is tell you why I think your friend feels that statement is bullshit.
For those who don’t know, “the law of attraction” is defined by wikipedia as:
“The phrase Law of Attraction has been used by many esoteric writers, although the actual definition varies greatly. Most authors associate the Law of Attraction with the saying, "like attracts like", usually as applied to the mental life of human beings: that a person's thoughts (conscious and unconscious), emotions, beliefs and actions attract corresponding positive or negative experiences. This process has been described as "harmonious vibrations of the law of attraction",[1] or "you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your experience."
Now, that I’ve explained that, here’s why I think he feels that way: to him the “law of attraction’s” idea that whatever you want will be magically attracted to you doesn’t apply to the laws of dating. Why? Because he’s probably never been asked out by a girl, probably doesn’t even know of anyone who has been. It’s rarely. It really doesn’t happen much. The basic law of nature when it comes to sex is that men chase, women choose.
So, you’re probably saying “but it works for me!” That may be true, but remember, you are a girl. It’s a man’s world, except when it comes to sex. This is an area where women have absolute control. You can get whatever you want, whenever you want it, because that’s the way it is. The world is your sexual oyster. You have thousands of opportunities to get anything you want from a 3 way to a vayjay, to you name it. You just walk into a bar, and wait. Or you can open an online dating profile and watch the submissions flood in.
That kind of options gives you the power. The power in this case, to wait until what you want comes along, or to have your definition of fun while you wait for it. This does not happen to guys. It’s the old adage, “sex for women is a choice, for men it’s a chore.” We have to work to get what we want, It doesn’t just come to us. If a guy goes to a bar and sits and sips his drink, waiting to be picked up, he’s guaranteed to be going home alone. Period.
Does that mean your approach can’t work for him? No, it doesn’t. But the “law of attraction” is a radically different approach that he is used to. Not everyone can A) admit that they are wrong and B) embrace concepts that are the antithesis of the foundation that is their core belief system.
Simply put, It’s going to be hard for him to wrap his head around it, even if he wants to, and frankly, he may not ever full embrace the concept, even if his current approach isn’t working. It’s also important to note that what works for the goose isn’t always good for the gander, so it simply may not be something he’s into, at least for now. I applaud you for trying to help him. Maybe, if you feel like this is something that will work for him, lay off the subject for a while, then gently reintroduce it over time. Or just shut the fuck up and mind your own God Damn business. Kidding. You know I love you! Have you lost weight? Cause it totally looks like you have.
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